Another Life by Robert Haller

Author:Robert Haller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
Published: 2019-04-04T17:23:25+00:00

After Paul left through her bedroom window late Sunday morning, April had spent the rest of the day trying to go over recent events and the present situation in a calm, objective manner—and failed miserably. All she could think about was last night—not its implications or how to proceed in light of it, but how it had felt during, how it had felt to have his hands on her bare legs and breasts, how it had felt to have him inside her. She sat on her bed that evening, cross-legged, the lights off, watching the sunlight gradually fade from the window he had climbed out of. And by the time the room had grown completely dark, the one thing she knew for certain was that she wanted Paul inside her again.

But April well understood the simple, sad truth that people did not necessarily want what was best for them, that many times those two things were diametrically opposed. So the next day, she called in sick to VBS and planned to take the day determining whether her desire to have Paul inside her again was greater than, or at least equal to, the consequences that the fulfillment of that desire might bring.

Again she had been flummoxed. Instead of spending the day in a reasoned back-and-forth debate with herself, she’d spent it daydreaming about Paul and wondering what he was doing now at the VBS, whether he missed her, whether he was thinking about her. It got her nowhere. All she had by the end of the day was this bit of reasoning: For the past twenty years, April had spent her life working solely to make those closest to her happy, with varying results, and last night, she had made a big decision solely for herself. And now the world around her would have her feel that this decision had been bad, wrong even, and she just wasn’t sure that was fair. So tomorrow, Tuesday, she would approach Paul. She would talk to him alone, but she would not propose anything. She would wait and see what happened. That was all she would do: wait and see what happened.

What happened was Walmart. They had gone shopping, and April tried not to wonder what it said about you if the best time you’d had in years was in a Walmart store. They strolled down the aisles, taking their time, picking up supplies for the camping trip: coolers, water balloons, bug spray, first-aid kits. They had not touched—except for when she slapped him lightly on the arm after he made a very funny but very mean joke about one of the church elders, and except for when he dragged her by the hand to the grocery aisle and tried to convince her to feed the campers nothing but Spam and saltines for the weekend.

What happened was, April felt a teenage sense of giddiness welling up inside her. And this should have alarmed her, she supposed. She shouldn’t have felt this happy, not given the circumstances this happiness had sprung from.

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